Hmm. Today is a strange day. First, reading a bit between the lines, Kate is worried that The Spare is actually a paranormal which it's not. I've sent the pages and revised synopsis and am now beset by grave doubts about, well, everything. The last time I read the stuff, it seemed darn good to me, but I've been wrong before. Plus, the ghost stuff doesn't start until after the pages I sent to Kate, so they're not likely to lay to rest her reservations, other than, I suppose, to see that the element is there but not overwhelming. I don't think. Anyway, I've been following a Beaumonde loop wherein authors bemoan their inability to make a living. And this from established authors! $500 advances on 60-80 thousand words? What kind of joke is that? I am so clueless about this business. On the other hand, I don't write trad Regencies and I've only recently discovered they're not exactly what I thought they were, which was no sex at all. My hero Mary Balogh has sex in hers but I don't think she writes them anymore. Anyhow, to be honest, I have no clue if the money is better in Historicals, I guess it is because all the trad authors seem to be agonizing over how to switch to the long historical. Arghh. Note to self: I do not write trad Regencies. Oh. The writing. I am stressing over the fate of my partial on The Spare and what's more, I'm stressing over the absence of my agent in this process. No response to my letter about how to develop my career, and of course, nothing when I tried to bring up the subject over the phone. Not a phone call or anything. And then I hear about writers who've written six or more books and can't get an agent. Now, to me this makes no sense. My gut says these people are writing terrible queries or not pitching a specific project with the query.

I'm back to 88K+ with The Spare, but maybe it doesn't matter because Kate will hate it. Basically, today I am engaging in avoidance behavior, and the really odd thing about that is I'm excited about the new and improved ending. I think I'm going to print the whole thing because I don't feel that my brain is sufficiently connecting the beginning and middle with the end.